IT'S ALL ABOUT CONVERSATION.......

Traditionally we teach our clients about their dysfunctional roots, the damage that was done to the them. We list all the things that are wrong with the client as a result of this life history. The came from chaos. They felt unsafe. They did whatever a child's mind can configure to survive in this war zone. Those coping skills that worked as a child can create craziness in us as adults. What do you think the client is feeling and thinking when entering a substance abuse treatment facility? Loss. Grief. Overwhelmed. Angry. How about hopeless? What happens when a person feels hopeless? They can numb themselves - and that can be anything from substance abuse to agoraphobia, to any addictive, compulsive behavior that relieves the 'bad' feelin. Or they determinedly persevere on sheer 'will to survive' feelings. That if we recognize the history, accept the coping behaviors the client may have used back when, and then celebrate the resiliency and strength it took to survive? We know that accepting our past and keeping it in the past is part of life healing. What about a new approach? Not a 'touchy-feely-happy face-get well quick' easy solution. This approach is also deep, soul-searching work. This is about story telling, about conversation. Once a story is told - especially in a group setting, there is often a sense of acceptance and peace. Most often, everyone in the group has the same story. Then - a change of patter. "Well, Harry, it must have taken a lot of thought and planning to figure out how you were going to get your little brother to school when you were too young to drive - how did you do that?" It's as simple as a change in language. Be rephrasing, Harry now feels that he did something good. He is not overwhelmed with pity - which is debilitating. Every item he lists that he did to make this happen is a realization of strength - hence self-esteem. We now have a new starting place. As conversation continues and the feeling of hope fills the room - and you can feel it! Clients are filled with the sometimes foreign feeling of "You mean I'm not ruined?" So, how do we keep this healing process on track? I've mentioned several times the words conversation and story telling. For centuries, out ancestors used story telling as a way to teach, to vent, to entertain. It is still a great tool we often overlook.